Several years ago during a "girls night" someone brought magnets. They all had witty sayings about shoes, chocolate, sex, etc, etc... At the time I was either pregnant with Junior or had recently given birth to him. Being the only friend with a baby it made sense that I would get the magnet that portrayed a SAHM. She's in the yard watching her 2 children play in a sandbox. The caption read, "They're not looking- I could escape." At the time it was hilarious to me for 2 reasons- #1- she has an amazing body for someone that has birthed two kids. #2- Never will I be a SAHM and if I am escaping won't ever cross my mind. I'll cherish being able to spend time with my children.
Fast forward 4 years- They are ALWAYS looking- how will I ever escape!?!?!
Moving has made it possible for me to stay at home with the kids. This isn't a permanent deal. We still need 2 incomes but, for the time being, this is how it needs to be. Uprooting our family has been a big adjustment for everyone and they definitely need their mom right now. Especially Junior who has had to say goodbye to all his friends.
Unfortunately for Junior I'm not very good at "playing." There are only so many times I can pretend to take his McDonald's order or play tag. And I don't know how many more trips to the park I can take. But everyday I do my best to satisfy his creativity and to help him learn more about birds and butterflies and worms. We currently have caterpillars that we are anxiously awaiting to form cocoons and magically turn into butterflies.
We tried the whole playgroup thing once. Luckily Junior has not asked to go back. It was like re-entering high school and realizing all over again just how uncool you really are. I even spent time to blow dry my hair, apply makeup, and I wore my best pair of jeans (the only ones that actually fit me) and my prettiest shirt, AND I accessorized. I still wasn't cool. The cool moms, the ones that the play group leader approached first and spent the most time with, paid no attention to their children or me for that matter. They were very busy talking about upcoming vacations, cell phone plans, sales at various clothing stores. They stood around in a very tight circle. They let no one into this group. But I was fine interacting with my boys (and their kids as well.)
So this may not be how I imagined my life 4 years ago. I am desperate for a day when I can put on some dress clothes instead of jeans and a Red Sox t-shirt. But I do know that a caterpillar has 12 eyes and a butterfly has 6 legs. And the best way to cure a boo boo is to give lots of kisses and hugs and say something funny. No paycheck can amount to that knowledge.
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