Babies, parties, and more

I cannot believe that "baby" is nearing the 4 month mark. He's meeting all his milestones just as we would hope he would. Holding his own head up, laughing at our lame jokes, and making us fall more in love with him everyday. Perhaps that isn't a milestone. But it's still an amazing feeling to have!

What I can't believe even more then "baby" being close to 4 months is that "junior" will soon be having his 4th birthday. It's more then just a birthday party though......it's a chance for "junior" to say good-bye to his friends from daycare.

We decided to move to give our children a better life. To be closer to grandparents. To be able to buy a home. A better school system. But when I think of how difficult this move will be on "junior" I wonder if we're making the right decision. Daddy seems to think that we are. He feels that kids are so resilient. I'm the worrier. The one that agonizes over every decision and stays awake at night wondering if we're doing this parenting thing the right way. I guess there is no way to measure if you're doing things the right way. Or even if there is a right way.

Tonight I told "junior" that we were moving to a new house. He was a little confused. A little worried. He wanted assurance that we were bringing our belongings with us.

"Will we bring my bed?" "Yes honey- and the sheets on your bed too."

"What about the lights?" "Yes honey- Daddy and I bought the lights."

"Well can we bring the rug?" "Possibly- maybe our new house will already have a rug."

"But if we don't live here then who will?" "I'm not sure."

I decided to wait to fill him in that he will no longer go to the same daycare.

"Junior" has always been such an amazing little guy. And when I say little..I really mean little! He's in the 3rd percentile for his weight and height. But he is smart. And inquisitive and funny. So funny! No one can make me laugh the way that he can. It sounds corny but he really is a ray of sunshine.

When he was born I was terrified to hold him. That is what I remember the most. I was absolutely terrified. Everyone at the hospital held him before I did. I never expected that Daddy and I would have created someone so wonderful. So perfect. And from the c-section I couldn't stop shaking. So I admired this creation at a distance. I just kept trying to get the feeling back in my legs while other people held him and kissed him. And I continued to admire him from a distance sure that I could never handle him the way his daddy did or his grandparents did. Finally daddy handed him to me. Daddy didn't really give me a choice as to whether or not I wanted to hold him. He just put "junior" in my arms. Immediately I fell in love. I looked into his eyes and fell in love unconditionally with this little guy. And the most amazing this is that he didn't break!!!

I've watched his personality grow everyday for the last 4 years. Everyone that meets "junior" falls in love with him. You can't help but not too. His laugh is infectious. His smile brightens up the room. He is truly loved by everyone.

Now he is turning 4. My heart is already breaking for the day when he goes off to school. He'll do great. It'll be mommy that has the adjusting to do.

I desperately want this birthday to be amazing. Perfect. I want him to remember it always since it'll be one of his last memories with his friends from daycare. I've spent so much time looking into places analyzing what is included to how much fun the kids will have. I never would have imagined how expensive birthday parties can be. I know that "junior" will have a wonderful time no matter what. No matter where his birthday is. I'm the one with the high expectations.















"Junior" 3/24/04















"Junior's" 1st birthday

















"Junior's" 2nd Birthday